Признаки депрессивной экономики

Submitted by igorla on Fri, 09/11/2015 - 09:00

THE GLOBAL RECESSION
The recession has really hit everybody really hard.

· My neighbour got a pre-declined credit card in the mail from Capital ONE.
· Wives are having sex with their husbands now because they can't afford the batteries.
· CEO's are now playing miniature golf.
· Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
· A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.
· I saw a Mormon today who had only one wife.
· If the bank returns your cheque marked "Insufficient Funds," you need to call them and ask if they meant you or them.
· McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
· Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.
· Parents in Toronto and Vancouver have fired their nannies and are learning their children's names.
· My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!
· A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.
· A picture is now only worth 200 words.
· When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.
· The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.

And, finally...
· I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, my CPP, my retirement savings etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call centre in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck!

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Comments

:)
Мне про CapitalOne понравилось. Я сделал 2 карточки, потом мне надоел их бесконечный цикл ;)

У меня 15 лет назад их карточка была первой

Первым мне BOFA дал, почему то их не смущают новые эмигранты. А CapitalOne да, вскоре после этого.

BofA тогда не было в Чикаго